Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Dell Customer Service: Nicer Than Sprint. Just As Incompetant

Just when I thought I could not get any more frustrated with a customer service department, than Sprint's (S), Dell (DELL) steps into the batters box. We ordered a new computer for the office and needed it ASAP. Since Dell only does ground delivery (no big deal) we said we would pay the $119 to get it overnighted to us. Then, since we moved the office last year, changed both the billing and the shipping address. Easy right? Don't be foolish.......

We get the confirmation email for the order and realize that the shipping info was not changed. So we do the 10 minute wait on hold to make the change and think we are all set, BUT, Dell has other plans for us.

Our follow up shipping email promptly comes and the address is still wrong and good news, the damn thing has shipped to the wrong address!! So I call DHL, who I do have to say was very good and they make the address change on their end and inform me that they cannot deliver to another address unless Dell tells them to. Back to where I began.

It should be noted that it has now taken more of my time to get the correct ship to address taken care of that it did to order (and pay for) the computer. It also bears mentioning that we still have not figured out what shipping type was used yet (overnight vs. ground). So after another 20 minutes I am told it will be a few more days until I get the computer and the offer me a $100 COUPON for my troubles which is nice but still leaves me short on what I originally paid for the overnight shipping I am apparently not getting! This is when I informed the lady what she could do with her coupon and said I expect "more than less than what I paid for overnight shipping for a computer that will not get here for two more days". Maybe they can pay us for the Admin person who I will just ask to sit around with her thumb up her ass for two more days? I am still on hold so we'll see...

So the nice lady comes back and informs me that the computers are at DHL and if I want them today "I can go pick them up". WHAT!!!!! "If they are at the local DHL, why the hell can't they deliver them to me, it is what they do you know?" I reply. She nicely says that she sent them an email for the address change and it take 24 for 48 hours for them to reply. I just gave her their phone number and requested she call them to make the change (like I did). She says ok. Back on hold.

Now I am searching through my drawer looking for anything sharp I can jab into my eye. The reason? I have to be dreaming. This cannot be happening. I have spent to better part of an hour dealing with this now. "You can go pick it up?" Holy Christ, I thought she was joking at first! If I was smart I would have taped this and made a YouTube video, I could have been on Letterman next week. Never fear, I am sure I will have to call them again and boy will I be ready then.

It's been 3 more minutes and still waiting for her to get back. I am starting to cry now, if I had just left when she told me to "go get it" I would be on my way. Of course she could not tell me for sure if it actually at DHL or on a truck (just that "they have it") so my guess is I would have got there and been told "it is out for delivery". At least this way some poor DHL person will not get assaulted today.

She just checked back "to see if I was still there". "Yup" I replied. She sounded disappointed. Back to sleep. She is like my snooze alarm, every 3 minutes. The timer on my phone says I have been on it for 53:06 now. Running out of things to type....

Waiting... waiting...Back to let me know DHL has her on hold. Yea... how does it feel miss customer service!!! Nice job DHL. Mess with the bull, get the horns bucko. This lady is very nice but I am starting to hate her. It is raining outside. My kids are making themselves lunch, they are 4, I'm screwed but I have to see this through.

So she comes back and tells me that not only can I not get it today but that it will not come for 24 to 48 hours . "Until DHL gets our form with the address change" what are they using pony express? Ever heard of email? But the good news, I can still get a $100 coupon. WTF!!! Supervisor time!!!

Back on hold 64:54 into the call (this does not include the DHL time). Seething now. Have been on hold longer than the 3 minute checks she does, I think they are hoping I give up. No way, this is war.

She came to tell the "supervisor has arrived", back on hold. . Thanks, go ruin someone else's day. 73:22 into call. The supervisor has stepped up to the plate to offer me the additional $9 for shipping but the only way I can get it tomorrow now is if I go get it. Asshole... I explain that my almost 2 hours dealing with this rather than working has a cost associated with it and that there will be a cost involved with picking up the computer.

After more wrangling he offers me another $100 coupon that I have to use in 90 days or it expires. I politely ask him to turn around and shove this one up his ass. 95:07 into call and back on hold. He comes back and I tell him to send me a laser printer or kill the whole order, back on hold. OKay they say they will do it and will let me know tomorrow an order number. We'll See final time , not including DHL? 112:46.

I have had a few Dell interactions before and all have been the same way, usually me hanging up the phone after a mind numbing conversation with someone who cannot help me, leaving me wishing I had just decided to nail my testicles to my chair as it would have been less painful. Not this time, I was in it to the bitter end. As I sat there about to fall asleep on hold, I was trying to remember if I ever had this problem when I had my Compaq Pesario and I couldn't. Why? It worked perfectly all the time... Next time I will try HP (HPQ) out, they just can't be any worse. Can they ?

I still have to give Dell the nod over Sprint, at least their customer service people speak and understand English and are nice, I always worry the Sprint one's will be waiting for me outside one morning ....

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